Monday, 15 March 2010

I feel really, really weird. I’m not sure how to explain it. Kind of like a bad mood, but more out of sorts. Nothing is satisfying me and I have a lot of questions in my mind, all unanswered. I don’t know if I’m angry, or upset, or annoyed. Perhaps subdued, pensive. One person said to me I seem very reflective. I think perhaps today should be spent with me. I’ve already inflicted this upon the kids today, negatively, and it wasn’t even their fault. As a consequence, my lessons didn’t go as well as they could have. My year 11s took the mick, miss you’re on form today, but that’s ok I don’t mind that. We have that sort of relationship where we can make fun of each other.

Another thing, my prayer mat has gone missing from my room when I was off sick – what is that all about?! It was in a cupboard as well.

Anyway, I think I may be overwhelmed. Or a bit numb from yesterday. And then with the parental unit leaving today and leaving me and my brother to it for two weeks; it does give a lot of supposed time to think and question and look for answers and the sort, but I know it’ll fly by and culminate in me being none the wiser. I also have to take care of everything, as well as stress at work, which is a bit daunting. Domestic goddess I am not.

Daunting. That’s how I’m finding this all. The conversations that are to be had and the questions to be asked and answered and considered, and the views and opinions and feeling and anxieties and doubts to be aired and vocalised. Honesty and tact. Much required, also time. And the future and the decisions, and all that depends on it and vice versa.

Am I the right person?
Are you?
Does it make sense?

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